Unpredictable

The thing about life is that it's unpredictable.  I haven't written in my blog for some time because I've been busy with life.  I started this damn thing so I could have a means to document my life, and I've neglected my journal so to speak.  All I want to do is make people laugh.  My dad and mom are so good at that.  As I've gotten older, though, I've realized different things are entertaining to different ages.

When I was in college I thought I was hilarious because I did the dumbest things when I was "overserved".  Overserved is a single word even though spell correct refuses to recognize it.  Same goes to tipsy.  When I would get overserved in college it was fine because I was an infant and there were several other infants my age who were doing the same thing.  I still get overserved, but it's not funny at all.  I go into hiding, and Anal Adam freezes my funds.  Although I don't have a job or kids, I blame it on stress.

When I was in my 20's, I got the great job, landed the dream guy, and I tried really hard to do everything I planned in my head.  I'm not saying it was perfect, but, in my head, it looked so good.  It was my Pinterest category Home Ideas.  It's Pinterests fault for my high expectations.  I picked out doors from ruins in Paris.  Needless to say, none of my plans came to fruition.

I had everything I thought I wanted.  I spent every dime I made and then some (is $35 really necessary for each overdraft charge??).  Anal Adam insisted I contribute money to the "family fund", and I always told him I was going to do it next month.  He never understood that I needed a new dress for the different functions each month, which dipped into my "family fund" contribution.  Now that I have no job and a function comes up, guess who is reminded she never contributed to the "family fund" as she wears the same dress over and over.  It's my scarlet letter.

I still find happiness in the small things in life.  Such as if I watch The Goonies or Willow I know I'll have a good night's sleep.  If I read Autocorrect.com, I know I'll be in the best mood for an entire day.  I still like to stick to what I know, but I'm starting to get the courage to leap for things I thought were out of my reach.  As I've gotten older, I've tried to eat less, exercise more, and embrace self help books (especially 50 Shades of Grey).

I've learned so much about myself in the past year it makes me nervous.  I'm a crier, gross.  I understand politics, damn it.  I'm going to try to start a new career, bipolar disorder.  I have horrible taste in home decor, I'm not as lazy as I thought, I'm funnier when I'm not trying so hard, I have adult acne which I constantly pick at,  I'm an opinionated bitch, and I'm Republican.  My utmost favorite thing to do is record my husband when he's sleep walking and/or talking because it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

When I decide something in my life, I still ask the opinions of my friends and family.  I thought I would have more things figured out now, but everything is more jumbled than ever.  My fairy tale life I had planned is made of dust, and my reality is very hard to swallow.  Yet, I find humor in every day life.  I had a good day today and called my best friend to tell her.  I told 1950's Super Mom that I was having a great day, and she told me, "I'm so happy!  Everyday is a great day because you're so great!".  Damn 1950's Super Mom always knows how to keep this buttercup up.

The constant in my life has always been God and my faith.  God has brought me so far, and most of the time I think about what I've lost this year.  I'm not a victim of the tragedies of life but a survivor.  My life is blessed with a loving husband, family, and boat load of friends.  The last thing I should be doing at the beginning of my 30's is moping around depressed about what I don't have.  The next time my not so close friends see me they'll be wondering why Jessica Biel Timberlake? is in town (me duh).