This is a warning to the hotmail users. A hacker stole my e-mail stuff and my Facebook stuff, and sent an email to my entire contact list telling them the following:
"I'm stuck in Scotland with my family and all our money and passports were stolen. Please send me $2,500, and I'll explain what happened when I get home.
First of all, my family is divorced and my mom and dad avoid each other like the Plague. Second of all none of my friends would have sent money because they would have been pissed I didn't tell them I went to Scotland. Hackers should really do their homework before completely ruining someone's e-mail life.
The best part about this e-mail farce was that I was getting 2 root canals the day it was sent. My friends and family were calling me asking me what was going on, but they couldn't understand me when I was explaining what had happened because I was barely unable to talk. Oh and I was doped up on pain killers because of my extreme pain. This hacker may think noone knows who he/she is, but God knows and he's going to get you!!!
I'm still unable to get into Hotmail or Facebook, because they don't believe it's me trying to gain access to my own account. The ironic part of that is, is that I'm going to have to become a hacker to gain access to all my stuff. All I have to say is damn it!
Friday, December 31, 2010
CHRISTMAS
I love Christmas so much I could scream. This year Anal Adam and I were the first to get our Christmas tree. Last year we waited too long, and not only did our tree have a huge hole in it, it had about 5 branches. I bought us bells and pins to wear while we were at Lowe's picking out our amazing tree. Anal Adam didn't wear any of his Christmas attire and while I was looking off he had already chosen the tree. We wrapped it up, got it home, and it was probably the smallest tree in the whole lot. I'm 5'2 and I could touch the top. I almost comitted physical abuse on my husband. What was he thinking?? I told him I wanted a Griswald Tree, and he got a practical one. He also thought the tree only needed 2 strands of lights. I put 2 strands just on the top. Our Christmas tree was going to look like the North Star was sitting in or living room. I also had a bow made that Anal Adam thought was too big for the tree. I quickly informed him that the bow was the indication of the size of tree we were going to have next year!
This year I decided that I needed to combine Anal Adam's Christmas traditions with my Christmas traditions. He has so many, and I had to make up some because he was starting to mess with my Christmas decorations. He didn't understand why we didn't have colored lights, and I had to tell him what year it was. His mother makes a Christmas stocking for each new member of the Masley clan. I decided I was going to make Christmas stockings for our Masley dogs. It took me 6 hours to make 2 stockings. After I was done and I had to do back tricks to get up, I got Anal Adam to come see what I did. Needless to say "that looks good baby" didn't sit very well with me. I wanted to return all of his presents that came from the North Pole and shove the new ashes and switches up is South Pole! I really wanted to frame my hand crafted Christmas stockings instead of hanging them!! After the "that looks good baby" comment, he never mentioned traditions to me again.
I've decided to create a tradition with my Goddaughter. I'm going to give her a Christopher Radko ornament every year for Christmas because all my friends assured me they wouldn't be going away anytime soon. In theory this seemed like a good idea. The ornament is expensive as hell and it's glass. I almost broke it while putting her name on the bottom. As soon as she opened it she wanted to play with it, but it's glass so we had to take her Christmas present away from her. She really won't be able to enjoy it until she's in her late 20's. Think, Morgan, think!
Moving on to Chrismas day. Apparently I'm one of those horrible Santa's that you better give a standing ovation or cry dramatically over your gift or I'm going to get my feelings hurt. This year my mom cried, and, of course, I see that as a HUGE success. Anal Adam on the other hand did the, "Thank you, I needed that." Oh husband, that's just what I wanted to hear after asking your idiot friends, trying to listen and remember little comments you would say over the past 6 months, find your size in all your men stuff, and all the while trying to keep it a secret. My friend got her husband a double something shotgun and some ostrich type boots, and my husbands drool got all over me while she was telling him the details. He said he needed a suit and a sports coat!!! WTF!!! Make a list!!!!!
This Christmas I ordered myself and Anal Adam 4 pieces of luggage that I told everyone they would have to participate in buying. In my head, everyone thought this was a great idea and were more than willing to hand me Christmas money. In reality, it was a lot different. I'm going to have to pay for most of it, because turns out Anal Adam didn't want luggage that badly. Althought things don't happen the way you planned, there is always a lesson learned. One day I'll actually learn on of those lessons.
This year I decided that I needed to combine Anal Adam's Christmas traditions with my Christmas traditions. He has so many, and I had to make up some because he was starting to mess with my Christmas decorations. He didn't understand why we didn't have colored lights, and I had to tell him what year it was. His mother makes a Christmas stocking for each new member of the Masley clan. I decided I was going to make Christmas stockings for our Masley dogs. It took me 6 hours to make 2 stockings. After I was done and I had to do back tricks to get up, I got Anal Adam to come see what I did. Needless to say "that looks good baby" didn't sit very well with me. I wanted to return all of his presents that came from the North Pole and shove the new ashes and switches up is South Pole! I really wanted to frame my hand crafted Christmas stockings instead of hanging them!! After the "that looks good baby" comment, he never mentioned traditions to me again.
I've decided to create a tradition with my Goddaughter. I'm going to give her a Christopher Radko ornament every year for Christmas because all my friends assured me they wouldn't be going away anytime soon. In theory this seemed like a good idea. The ornament is expensive as hell and it's glass. I almost broke it while putting her name on the bottom. As soon as she opened it she wanted to play with it, but it's glass so we had to take her Christmas present away from her. She really won't be able to enjoy it until she's in her late 20's. Think, Morgan, think!
Moving on to Chrismas day. Apparently I'm one of those horrible Santa's that you better give a standing ovation or cry dramatically over your gift or I'm going to get my feelings hurt. This year my mom cried, and, of course, I see that as a HUGE success. Anal Adam on the other hand did the, "Thank you, I needed that." Oh husband, that's just what I wanted to hear after asking your idiot friends, trying to listen and remember little comments you would say over the past 6 months, find your size in all your men stuff, and all the while trying to keep it a secret. My friend got her husband a double something shotgun and some ostrich type boots, and my husbands drool got all over me while she was telling him the details. He said he needed a suit and a sports coat!!! WTF!!! Make a list!!!!!
This Christmas I ordered myself and Anal Adam 4 pieces of luggage that I told everyone they would have to participate in buying. In my head, everyone thought this was a great idea and were more than willing to hand me Christmas money. In reality, it was a lot different. I'm going to have to pay for most of it, because turns out Anal Adam didn't want luggage that badly. Althought things don't happen the way you planned, there is always a lesson learned. One day I'll actually learn on of those lessons.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wrapping
This year I decided to buy matching wrapping paper and my presents were going to be absolutely beautiful. I bought two different kinds with two different designs as well as some gorgeous ribbon to wrap around the presents. Unfortunately I bought the most uncool thing a wrapper could ever buy, stick on bows. I didn't find out until later that they how absolutely horrendous they were until I heard some ladies talking about wrapping later that week. One lady even used the phrase "so bad, it was worse than stick on bows". I wasn't about to fight that crowd again to return the 99 cent bows, so everyone got a stick on bow present this year. You can only imagine my humiliation.
The paper was apparently made from people who don't like Christmas. You know how paper is supposed to slide straight as the scissors shear it?? Well this paper was obviously made for the most skilled wrappers. I sat in the middle of my floor slaving over a 5x7 gift. The damn paper would tear, and nothing was even. Also, my tape kept getting dog hair in it because it's part of my house decor. All of my presents this year have dog hair in it. I tried to convince myself it was like fur, but dog hair isn't fur it's colored needles.
The ribbon I bought didn't go with my wrapping paper either. After all was said and done, my Christmas presents were the ugliest things I've ever put together since the 3rd grade. I probably should have stopped myself after the whole stick on bow fiasco. Next year everyone will receive their Christmas presents in bags.
The paper was apparently made from people who don't like Christmas. You know how paper is supposed to slide straight as the scissors shear it?? Well this paper was obviously made for the most skilled wrappers. I sat in the middle of my floor slaving over a 5x7 gift. The damn paper would tear, and nothing was even. Also, my tape kept getting dog hair in it because it's part of my house decor. All of my presents this year have dog hair in it. I tried to convince myself it was like fur, but dog hair isn't fur it's colored needles.
The ribbon I bought didn't go with my wrapping paper either. After all was said and done, my Christmas presents were the ugliest things I've ever put together since the 3rd grade. I probably should have stopped myself after the whole stick on bow fiasco. Next year everyone will receive their Christmas presents in bags.
New Job
So I started a new job, and it's amazing which means I have no life. I'm an associate account rep which means I answer to tons of people. On the tote-um-pole (no idea??) I would be on the very very bottom. It's the most amazing job I've ever had, and I feel dumb every day. For 2 weeks I was away at training. Some people had the audacity to tell me 2 weeks wasn't that long. I should have reserved them a room beside me and asked them what they thought after the two weeks of school and studying 4 plane rides away from home was. I hate talking those One Up people. You and I know who they are, but for some reason the One Up people don't realize who they are. One Ups always have something worse or better going on in their lives, and they are not afraid to tell you. Please figure out who are and STOP!
At traingin in the North, I apparently was Mrs. Southern Belle dumb ass. There were 2 awards you got at the end of the class: Most Valuable Player (I thought I had it in the bag) and Most Improved Player (we thought that was the biggest tool of the class). After 2 weeks of training, all A's, and a big 100.5 for my final grade, I set home back to Mississippi with Most Improved Player. Really?? I think it was because I gagged at the cadaver lab and sometimes accidentally spoke before I fully thought about what I was saying. A huge attribute, in addition to my brains, I was going to bring to the table was my ability to play sports. To my astonishment everyone there was not only brilliant, they also played sports better than me. It was like the Olympics of salespeople. Lesson learned: No matter how good you feel you are at something, there is always someone better than you in everything.
At traingin in the North, I apparently was Mrs. Southern Belle dumb ass. There were 2 awards you got at the end of the class: Most Valuable Player (I thought I had it in the bag) and Most Improved Player (we thought that was the biggest tool of the class). After 2 weeks of training, all A's, and a big 100.5 for my final grade, I set home back to Mississippi with Most Improved Player. Really?? I think it was because I gagged at the cadaver lab and sometimes accidentally spoke before I fully thought about what I was saying. A huge attribute, in addition to my brains, I was going to bring to the table was my ability to play sports. To my astonishment everyone there was not only brilliant, they also played sports better than me. It was like the Olympics of salespeople. Lesson learned: No matter how good you feel you are at something, there is always someone better than you in everything.
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