Ok so my husband has a couple of sides to him such as Hornet Head and Bunny, but his most famous side is Anal Adam. The older he gets, the worse it gets. Anal Adam is an attorney, need I say more. We recently went out to eat to a lovely dinner at a very nice steak house. Before we left he said that I'm not getting a dessert or an appetizer because we'll have so much food and it's too expensive and our bill can go up real quickly. These are my restrictions before we get in the car.
The whole way there he asks me why I'm going that way, do I know how much the speed limit is, how fast am I going, and reminded about the dessert/appetizer agreement. It wasn't an agreement at all, by the way! When we got there he pulled my chair out for me (Bunny), and started to ask me what I wanted to eat. When he asks me a question its an interrogation. I told him I was thinking the lamb or the calf, and he said asked me why. After many questions that obviously didn't justify either to be my meal, he told me to just get the steak. When the waitress came back, I was so mad I asked her what her favorite appetizer was, what was the best seller between lamb and calf and why, what she though about the fish of the day, and to bring the dessert menu when we're done.
After that, we started talking about future places to live. He preceeded to tell me that he found this beautiful home on 16 acres in the middle of nowhere. I listened to him tell me about this house, and I told him it sounds awesome. I did, however, bring up the fact that we will be raising kids at our future home and for him to also consider a home in a neighborhood. You would have thought I told him one of our dogs died. That's when both Hornet Head and Anal Adam emerged. He accused me of not wanting to live in a house on land where he had always dreamed, and he didn't understand why I didn't want to live at this house that was just an idea .5 seconds ago. He then interrogated me saying that if I want him to keep his mind open about a neighborhood home that means I'm against us living at this house or any other house on land. He then said, "So what you're saying is is that you don't want to live in a house on land like we always wanted , you only want to live in a house in a neighborhood where we're going to have to get rid of the dogs??" I literally felt two horns pop through my head. I may have raised my voice at him a little and I may have said a few 4 letter words in response to his extremely stupid comment. I really can't say because all I remember was seeing red.
The ladies behind us kind of got quieter, and they started to eavesdrop. So rude! I'm trying to have a quiet fight in the middle of a nice restaurant with my husband, and these women are listening in on us. I would never think of doing something like that. Stephen and I ended up resolving the issue because he forgot who was dealing with. We ended the night flirting at the bar and kissing in front of people. We're not going back to that restaurant again.
This is what Anal Adam, Hornet Head, and Bunny do to me, and I love them more and more every day. He's nuts, but he does cook, clean, and put up with me. I must say that I wake up each morning wondering what that little maniac will do next because he always manages to spice up my life in some way or another.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
My Night in Atlanta
I really don't know where to begin with my little story. First, the reason I went to Atlanta was to meet my new region I will be working in with my job. That's the only reason I went there, so I don't know why I said first. We had an amazing dinner, I stayed at a 5 star hotel, and went to the 5 star hotel bar and, oh, I met Vince Vaughn.
I was sitting with my co-worker, and I looked up and there before me was the 7ft best actor of all time. I stood up walked straight up to him, introduced myself, and tried to get Vince Vaughn to hang out with me. For some reason, he didn't want to. I pulled the "I'm a southern girl from Jackson, MS" card, and that didn't even work. I was so pissed that I then started to insult him to my other co-workers. This awesome actor shook my hand, said "hello, nice to meet" you, and couldn't have been nicer. I on the other hand was not. I said, "You know he's not THAT famous. I mean he hasn't even won an Oscar." Who am I?? The embarrassment train didn't stop there either.
My 2 co-workers and I were not leaving while Vince Vaughn was there, I don't even feel I can call him by his first name. At one point in the night, with some liquid encouragement, I went to Vince Vaughn's table, sat beside him, grabbed his face with BOTH hands, and said, "You know you're not as famous as you think you are". His friend, The Enforcer, grabbed my hand and tried to steer me away from Vince Vaughn because I, not only, grabbed his face but insulted him. My co-workers were laughing at me because they couldn't believe what they were seeing.
After the bar was closing, I decided to do a third try at hanging out with Vince Vaughn. I told him, "Vince, I'm from Jackson, MS and it's not everyday I come to Atlanta and hang out. Can't we all just hang out." Both my co-workers were laughing at me because they couldn't believe what they were seeing. It was also because they were so embarrassed, like I was when I woke up the next day. The coolest thing thats ever happened to me, and I made a total idiot out of myself.
If anyone knows Vince Vaughn, please tell him I apologize for being completely star struck and then insulting him because I was so upset he shut me down on hanging out with me. My other co-worker did hang out with him. He was acting way cooler than me/not like a psycho stalker. I did find out that they remembered my name because The Enforcer had to stay busy keeping me away from his friend and because Vince Vaughn has a phobia about people touching his face. Who wouldn't want a total stranger putting both their hands on their face at a bar???
So I do have some advice from my experience from meeting a super famous cool actor. Don't talk to them too much because they don't want to talk to you no matter where you are from. Don't go sit by them without them asking you. Don't touch their face and definitely don't insult them. If you follow my advice you will have a very pleasurable experience I think. I will probably be depressed about my encounter for the rest of January, and I will definitely be embarrassed everytime I see one of his awesome movies. If I ever see anyone famous again I am just going to my room because I've probably been black balled anyway.
I was sitting with my co-worker, and I looked up and there before me was the 7ft best actor of all time. I stood up walked straight up to him, introduced myself, and tried to get Vince Vaughn to hang out with me. For some reason, he didn't want to. I pulled the "I'm a southern girl from Jackson, MS" card, and that didn't even work. I was so pissed that I then started to insult him to my other co-workers. This awesome actor shook my hand, said "hello, nice to meet" you, and couldn't have been nicer. I on the other hand was not. I said, "You know he's not THAT famous. I mean he hasn't even won an Oscar." Who am I?? The embarrassment train didn't stop there either.
My 2 co-workers and I were not leaving while Vince Vaughn was there, I don't even feel I can call him by his first name. At one point in the night, with some liquid encouragement, I went to Vince Vaughn's table, sat beside him, grabbed his face with BOTH hands, and said, "You know you're not as famous as you think you are". His friend, The Enforcer, grabbed my hand and tried to steer me away from Vince Vaughn because I, not only, grabbed his face but insulted him. My co-workers were laughing at me because they couldn't believe what they were seeing.
After the bar was closing, I decided to do a third try at hanging out with Vince Vaughn. I told him, "Vince, I'm from Jackson, MS and it's not everyday I come to Atlanta and hang out. Can't we all just hang out." Both my co-workers were laughing at me because they couldn't believe what they were seeing. It was also because they were so embarrassed, like I was when I woke up the next day. The coolest thing thats ever happened to me, and I made a total idiot out of myself.
If anyone knows Vince Vaughn, please tell him I apologize for being completely star struck and then insulting him because I was so upset he shut me down on hanging out with me. My other co-worker did hang out with him. He was acting way cooler than me/not like a psycho stalker. I did find out that they remembered my name because The Enforcer had to stay busy keeping me away from his friend and because Vince Vaughn has a phobia about people touching his face. Who wouldn't want a total stranger putting both their hands on their face at a bar???
So I do have some advice from my experience from meeting a super famous cool actor. Don't talk to them too much because they don't want to talk to you no matter where you are from. Don't go sit by them without them asking you. Don't touch their face and definitely don't insult them. If you follow my advice you will have a very pleasurable experience I think. I will probably be depressed about my encounter for the rest of January, and I will definitely be embarrassed everytime I see one of his awesome movies. If I ever see anyone famous again I am just going to my room because I've probably been black balled anyway.
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