Anal Adam

Ok so my husband has a couple of sides to him such as Hornet Head and Bunny, but his most famous side is Anal Adam.  The older he gets, the worse it gets.  Anal Adam is an attorney, need I say more.  We recently went out to eat to a lovely dinner at a very nice steak house.  Before we left he said that I'm not getting a dessert or an appetizer because we'll have so much food and it's too expensive and our bill can go up real quickly.  These are my restrictions before we get in the car. 

The whole way there he asks me why I'm going that way, do I know how much the speed limit is, how fast am I going, and reminded about the dessert/appetizer agreement.  It wasn't an agreement at all, by the way!  When we got there he pulled my chair out for me (Bunny), and started to ask me what I wanted to eat.  When he asks me a question its an interrogation.  I told him I was thinking the lamb or the calf, and he said asked me why.  After many questions that obviously didn't justify either to be my meal, he told me to just get the steak.  When the waitress came back, I was so mad I asked her what her favorite appetizer was, what was the best seller between lamb and calf and why, what she though about the fish of the day, and to bring the dessert menu when we're done.

After that, we started talking about future places to live.  He preceeded to tell me that he found this beautiful home on 16 acres in the middle of nowhere.  I listened to him tell me about this house, and I told him it sounds awesome.  I did, however, bring up the fact that we will be raising kids at our future home and for him to also consider a home in a neighborhood.  You would have thought I told him one of our dogs died.  That's when both Hornet Head and Anal Adam emerged.  He accused me of not wanting to live in a house on land where he had always dreamed, and he didn't understand why I didn't want to live at this house that was just an idea .5 seconds ago.  He then interrogated me saying that if I want him to keep his mind open about a neighborhood home that means I'm against us living at this house or any other house on land.  He then said, "So what you're saying is is that you don't want to live in a house on land like we always wanted , you only want to live in a house in a neighborhood where we're going to have to get rid of the dogs??"  I literally felt two horns pop through my head.  I may have raised my voice at him a little and I may have said a few 4 letter words in response to his extremely stupid comment.  I really can't say because all I remember was seeing red.

The ladies behind us kind of got quieter, and they started to eavesdrop.  So rude!  I'm trying to have a quiet fight in the middle of a nice restaurant with my husband, and these women are listening in on us.  I would never think of doing something like that.  Stephen and I ended up resolving the issue because he forgot who was dealing with.  We ended the night flirting at the bar and kissing in front of people.  We're not going back to that restaurant again.

This is what Anal Adam, Hornet Head, and Bunny do to me, and I love them more and more every day.  He's nuts, but he does cook, clean, and put up with me.  I must say that I wake up each morning wondering what that little maniac will do next because he always manages to spice up my life in some way or another.