Holiday Fun

Some things good and bad have come my way, and I've made the extra effort to read about how I can handle them as well as go to an amazing therapist.  What I have come to find is that not only do I not have the answers, but neither does anyone else. I'm a hot mess, but so is everyone else. That's the good news.  For some reason there are people that, not only, take their life too seriously, but, also, take your life too seriously.  I'm a walking apology.  I always apologize about what I think other people think I'm doing is wrong.  Who gives a shit??  It's you're life, and you're the person in control with what happens to you.  I've always lived to please other people, and I can't help that.  I will continue to be the pathetic person that wants everyone to like them, but I will also be the goofy comic relief that people will want to talk to when bored at a stupid "we came, thank you for having us" party.  Holidays are so fun to me because Anal Adam and I remember that it's just us in this whole marriage thing, and we don't have to put up with anyone else's opinions or bullshit.

1950's Super Mom and I went Christmas shopping not too long ago.  She was so excited to have a shopping partner, see me, and vent to me.  She should never go shopping with a person that doesn't have kids.  I swear, everything out there is so cool, and I want to ask Anal Adam to buy it for me for Christmas.  I don't mean to be tacky, but pretty much everything my Godchildren get for Christmas is a result of me.  We shopped for kids, ate a grown up lunch, and then shopped again for the kids.  We got a big kid basketball goal (me), a hide and seek animal thing (me), and a galloping horse stick (me).Why is shopping for kids so much fun??  I'm pretty sure it's because the buyer (1950's Super Mom) is stupid like her Godsister.  Fortunately for me, Dr.DO, 1950's husband, and I are the best of friends.  Dr. DO thought our Christmas shopping trip went way overboard, so 1950's Super Mom gave him the "you wanna go there??" stare and he gave her the "haha, I was just kidding" smile and everything went away. Of course everything ended in the women's favor, duh.

I remember when I found out that Santa wasn't real.  All I wanted for Christmas was a Baby Shivers. It was the new and improved baby that cried and shivered when it was cold and you weren't doing your job as its mother.   Christmas morning I ran downstairs, and Santa had all our stuff laid out on the fire place.  I went straight for the Baby Shivers.  I couldn't believe he read all those letters/I was such a nerd. I was soooo excited I ripped the box open, and there before me was an African American Baby Shivers.  All I could say between sobs and cries was, "Santa doesn't know who I am!!!"  My sister quickly realized that Santa wasn't real which meant neither was the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny.  That bitch decided to tell me her discovery as well.  Needless to say, kid aren't as stupid as you think.

I'm not sure how anyone else found out about Santa, but that sucked.  My poor mom cried for days.  She should have cried for joy, because that was a pretty brilliant observation on my part.  The main thing I want people to take away from this story is that no one realized how smart I was, and now you do.