Frugal Is So In

I read my blog recently to some family friends, and I realized that I couldn't spell nor do I have any grammar skills. I apologize for those who read this terrible blog, because I have spell and grammar checked this thing several times and it is still wrong.


I have several different things that I'm doing in my life right now. I have 3 jobs: I sell surgical devices, I work at a women's clothing store on some Saturdays, and I've started my own business. I, also, am currently becoming an amazing tennis player. My main focus is beating my sister at tennis. My friend and I went to a tennis shop to get me some tennis shoes, and I was going to buy a racket. The people wouldn't allow me to buy a racket because they wanted me to demo some rackets. Apparently, I embarrassed my friend because I told them that I used to play softball so I'm a real good beginner. The people playing tennis at this place are all like pros and I was trying to prevent me and my friend from looking like a bunch of amateurs. She should have been thanking me for making us look like such cool beginners.


I think the reason I have so many ventures going on in my life right now is because one of them is bound to make me rich. The goal in my life is to retire in a couple of years. My husband and I have the same goals which makes our relationship that more special. The only problem is that my husband takes saving money and other things to a whole new level. According to him, food is a luxury for us. He tries to save money by skimming on some foods and household necessities, and, thanks to trial and error, he realized you don't skim on some things. Just a little FYI, you don't skim on off brand cheese, toilet paper, or paper towels. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him saving money but come on with the whole food and alcohol savings. I'm physically unable to drink cheap beer. Call me a snob, I don't care!!


We're all going on a canoeing trip in Arkansas, and one of our friends suggested we pitch tents and do it rugged style. Are you absolutely kidding me?? Unless that tent has an air condition unit and running water in it, I'm out. I'm a cool person and I can hang out in the wilderness and whatever else, but I sleep in a bed, pee in a toilet, and brush my teeth. I don't feel that this is an unreasonable camping request, either. I'm just excited Anal Adam likes the same things I do while camping, because thankfully he didn't skim on this one.

You know I'm embracing this economy with a positive attitude, and I want to make sure I try all that I can to put a positive spin on everything. In order for me to do so I had to look at things from a different perspective. So we have this oil spill that is not allowing my family and many other families to spend their 4th of July on the beach. Positive: there will probably be a lot less shark attacks this year. A little side note: I've watched shark week for 4 years straight, and I feel I know all there is to know about sharks. On my honeymoon last year, a mother shark was swimming near the shoreline and I ran out towards the shark yelling, "She's doesn't want to hurt us!" Anal Adam had to grab my arm to keep me from running to the shark. Yes I had been drinking, but what the hell did I think I was going to accomplish by getting in the water with a 7ft shark. Idiot!! Another idiot is the CEO of BP. No we don't believe you're doing all you can, no we don't believe your stupid apology, and no you don't get your high end life back! When you suck as bad as you do, Mr. Hayward, at cleaning your mess up in the United States (especially in the South), you get your ass handed to you. Don't patronize us Americans with your rehearsed answers to our concerned quesitons because you're about 2.5 million gallons full of horseshit that continues to spread. Moving on to my job. I'm not making as much money as I did last year because the economy has caused budget cuts in hospitals. Positive: the economy sucks so everything I want is on sale. I have to pay $250 for my dog to get spade next week. Positive: she'll never have to wear diapers for 2 AND A HALF WEEKS again. My friends and family have experienced cutbacks and the harsh realities of the economy. Positive: we drink all the time!!

They say that because of this recession people are having intercourse more because they don't have money to do anything else. Who the hell did that survey, and who the hell participated?? Gross!!! I picked up tennis, and that's all you're getting out of me. I don't know all what's going on with the economy, but I feel pretty confident that neither does any of the politicians trying to fix it. As long as most of us know were up sh*t creek without a paddle (or another bailout plan), we'll find some way to come together and make it work. Just some friendly advice, my friends and I like to work it out with alcohol.